30 Day Challenge

Last year in May I participated in a 30 day challenge that involved: running/walking 1 mile daily, realacing an unhealthy breakfast with a healthy one (Mine wasn’t unhealthy to start) and journal on what moves/motivates you.  I am doing a variation on that theme starting tomorrow…
April 1 – April 30 I will run a mile everyday.  I am also committing to three random acts of kindness each day if the month.
I am also giving myself a little push and from April 1 until my husband moves up on April 12.  I am giving up junk food, fried food (Which basically IS junk food!), added sugar, and…. drumroll…. breads!

Alright!  Its out there in the interweb… no turning back!

The Joy of No

Every time I take any kind of personality assessment, I always get told I’m a people pleaser.  The type that puts everyone else first.  The girl at a party that spends the whole time making sure everyone else has fun, even if she’s not the host.  The person who says yes to last-minute changes/requests, even when it impacts her plans.

That’s the same type girl who resents feeling used.  Taken advantages of.  Taken for granted.

That’s the same person that doesn’t ever seem to hear “Thank you” or “I’m sorry for yelling at you when I was stressed out at everyone else” or “I really appreciate you”.

I really really am awful with personal boundaries, both creating and enforcing them.

When asked a question, or to do something for someone else if it’s going to make me feel bad that I said yes, I’m trying to say no.

Often I say yes to accommodating others, instantly.  Instead , I’m making myself think about it and really reflect upon if I want to… or if I just want to say yes to make someone else happy.

The reason this is such a problem for me is that I take it personally that people abuse me in this way… EVEN THOUGH I AM THE ONE LETTING IT CONTINUE.

My feelings are hurt when a neighbor asks me to help out and they know I have guests coming.  I say well I have guests coming…  And I get the response “I only need this and this and that”… I end up saying yes, but I’m so angry at them for thinking it’s okay to add to a plate that is already filled.

My feelings are hurt when I am going out of my way to be extra helpful at an event, and when the host cracks under the pressure and I’m there, being Helpful Hannah, I get yelled at… I just want to scream “I didn’t have to help you, I didn’t have to make this day extra special, no one else is doing this for you!!”.

I’m practicing the process of thinking about each action I do for everyone else and thinking about what my real motives are and how I will feel if they are not appreciated.

I’m practicing thinking if saying yes will overwhelm me, and what the downside of saying no could be.

I tend to be an extremist…

If I don’t go the extra mile no one will like me.  If I don’t always say yes, they will say no when I really need their help.

If someone doesn’t like me for not going the extra mile every.single.time, do I really want/need them in my life? NO.

If they aren’t willing to help because I had to honor my own needs once or twice, am I really at a loss if they don’t help me anymore?  NO.

I’m embracing the joy of saying no.  Of owning my time, my space and my life.  One simple No at a time.

Weight Talk Wednesday

I’m bringing back my Weight Talk Wednesdays.  I like the way it sounds, and I like the concept of focusing on the weight issues just once a week here.  A) I don’t think it’s healthy to focus on it all the time, I have slightly obsessive tendencies.  B) It gets boring and makes me feel whiny if I complain about it all the time!!

I’m thinking today’s a good day for a recap, followed by a proclamation (I love that word, it sounds so very important and like it must be followed!) of my goals.

Recap…  I am going to share with you what’s been going on since the hiatus.

I remember complaining (before the hiatus) about how I had hoped/expected the weight would drop off with not being unhappy all the time, and not being as sedentary (since I no longer had a desk job).  But reality kinda smacked me in the face with the fact that it wasn’t going to magically just drop off?!?

Okay, so since then I have been “cycling” again…. as in lose 5 lbs, gain it back, lose 5 lbs, gain it back.
As you can imagine, this isn’t exactly helping me get to that goal of reaching my goal weight by my 30th birthday in October.

Why does the cycling keep occurring???  I ask myself this all the time, especially when I’m back to a higher point.
It’s little things that make me gain it back…

Like a visit from/to family… I stop measuring, counting, or even thinking about what I am eating.  It’s crazy… I actually find that I rarely taste my food even when I am eating around my family.  It’s a little different with Hubs’ family… they are more apt to continue to serve me and I’m still so meek and mild I don’t do well with saying no.

Or PMS.  Once a month I am out of control for 3 days.  And I always think, huh, 3 days shouldn’t be enough to ruin my momentum.  Somehow, it is.  And that combined with the bloating for the following 3 days has me feeling like I’ve failed again for 6 days of the month.

Or things like this past weekend… I look forward to the weekends with Hubs so very much.  I’m crazy in love with the guy and he’s just such fun to hang out with, or do yard work or home projects with.  This got me in the mind frame to indulge and enjoy every possible second… at every opportunity. It starts out simple with a beer/glass of wine with happy hour (cheese, olives, maybe some crackers).  Sometimes it stops there, sometimes that puts me in that good place where I just want to chill out, and then I don’t make the best decisions.

Okay, that’s the Negative Nelly side of things… Here’s some positives from the past several months.

I definitely eat cleaner and better and such than I did 6-12 months ago and feel better health-wise.  I haven’t had a full on IBS attack in months upon months.

Just a month of P90X has made me stronger.  I picked up a bottle of wine to move it around the kitchen (from the floor to the wine rack) and had to double check it because I thought it felt half empty (it wasn’t).

Theron’s been so much healthier with me walking him a couple times a day.  I feel better, he looks/feels better and his training has come along leaps and bounds.

My mom and I started a 1300 club… basically we were committing to eating around 1300 calories a day (sometimes more, sometimes less).  It worked great for a couple of weeks, but soon after she was here for a visit, it all went down the drain, and I’m still trying to find my motivation!  But my takeaway from this is that I know if I stick to it, it can work!

There’s a lot of pressure I put on myself to be at a point where I have reached a healthy weight.
I am sick of having pictures taken that I want to delete…  Especially since I’m going on vacation this year back home and I hate going home and feeling fat.  And I am a bridesmaid in my brother-in-law’s wedding and I truly truly adore the bride (and groom)… so I want to make sure I look as presentable as possible in their photos!  And we have vacations we’re thinking about next year that would require a swimsuit.  Ack, I can’t even imagine photos of that!!
I’m sick of feeling like that initial impression could be deterring clients.  Who would you trust more when receiving a massage??  Someone fit and healthy, or someone who isn’t?
And Hubs and I both agree (as well as my gyno) that mastering that healthy lifestyle/weight is vital before we try to get pregnant.
And quite honestly, I’m sick of failing and feeling like I’m on a continual cycle.  I want to have these healthy habits in place as HABITS.  I don’t want eating well, and exercising to be optional aspects of my life.

So there you have it.  

The Goal Proclamation (Doesn’t “proclamation” make it sounds so very official?!?)
From now until 10/20/12 I have about 5 months (157 days).
The goal to lose is 25-30 lbs.
That’s about 6 lbs a month… or 1.5 a week.

The process:

  • Continue with P90X (generally in the morning so I won’t “run out of time”).  I have been absolutely loving this workout, as long as I get to bed in time to get up and at’em… at 5:00 am.
  • Keep up with my 1 mile run after P90X.  When we finished our workout (Hubs and I do P90X together, cause we’re cute like that), I had been running a mile.  I know that’s not a huge distance but it felt good and was something I wanted as a baseline to build on.  And it has me out of the house so Hubs can cook me breakfast!!
  • Continue with Theron’s 2 walks a day.  The first is around 30 minutes, just him and I before I settle into work.  And the 2nd is a family walk with Hubs as well.  Smores (the cat) does not come, she doesn’t walk well on a leash. 🙂  Yes, I tried to walk her on it once… no it didn’t work out well for anyone, she kinda just got dragged along.  
  • Get back on board with the “1300 Club”.  Having a defined objective works well for me.  One of the key aspects is I don’t add back in exercise calories or anything.  I think sometimes that creates an exercise obsession for me that isn’t healthy.
    • This is a little easier in that I keep in mind healthy meals when making the weekly meal plan.
    • A little sub-goal here is that Hubs’ and I are still cleaning some of the non-real food out of the house, but that I really want to get to a point where we’re eating healthy whole foods only.  
    • Also I need a list of healthy “treats” for when I have that nighttime dessert craving…which seems to hit me most when Hubs’ is out of the house for B-ball on Monday and Thursday nights and I have no witnesses!  Suggestions are welcome, and encouraged. 🙂
  • Get enough sleep!  This one is so hard for me because I tend to get lost reading or online in the evenings.  Realistically for a 5:00 am wake up, I need to be getting ready for bed at 8:30 pm.  Yes… That does mean I go to bed earlier than all the children in our neighborhood. 🙂
  • Drink my water.  I have been slacking on this on and off, but I feel better when hydrated, and being a massage therapist I know how vital water is to all our body processes and to lubricating our muscles.
Really, when I type it all out it’s really not that hard of a plan.  It’s just sticking to it that’s difficult.  
Expect updates on what’s worked, what hasn’t worked, and any changes to my “process” on Wednesdays.  I’m not going to let this be a pity party.  I think if I can focus more on what goes right than what goes wrong, I’ll be in a better place mentally about it all.
I’m hoping this will help me find focus…  What do you do to keep yourself focused on your goals?

Update on September Goals

Originally posted herrrrrrrre….


Exercise:

Yoga/Pilates Daily in the AM (Just a short amount, enough to kinda stretch and start the day focused in a good way)
Run 3x a week.
Bike 3x a week. (Alternating with running days)
Rest 1x a week.
Strength Train 2x a week.
Walk Theron nightly. 



Here’s the reality…  I didn’t quite adhere, but by this point, I am consistent with exercising again.  I think focusing on bringing this back to importance really helped with that.  So this was a success; but occurred in an unplanned way.

Nutrition/Food:
Practice the art of intuitive eating. (Eating only when hungry, stopping when no longer hungry, etc)
Focus on moving towards whole/real foods.

Also some improvement here…. but with the improvements… I’ve also done a really bad job this past week or two with eating sugary crap.  I get headaches and feel sluggish when I eat sweets, so that’s an area I’m focusing in on still.

Household:
Focus on the budget.

We have done EXCELLENT on this one.  One little blip one day, other than that….we’re on track!!!

Chores.


I’m all over this…. ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLOVER!!  I’ve got my house spic and span (What the crap does that phrase mean anyway???).  I was able to relax most of the day today because the house is clean, most of my monthly chores are done (yes, for the month of October).  

Sleep
8 hours a night, every night.

Ummmm not so hot so here…  We’re doing okay with getting more than 6 hours, but also have been staying up later and getting up later… which is pushing my workout schedule off from where I wants it.  But we’ll work on that, oh yes, oh yes we will.

Work:
Stress/Anxiety Levels related to Job.

FREEDOM!!  I still do not feel any regret for moving onto massaging full time.  I had 3 scheduled this week, and that was only 1 down from where I need to be.  I believe in what I am doing.  And I know with continual hard work this can work out.  


But I’m not stressed…  not like before.  You can see it on my face (good bye cystic acne), you can see it in my actions (I’m a happy girl these days), it’s just amazing.
________________________________________________________________



I’m just going to keep on with this stuff for a bit.  No new goals until this stuff is fully integrated.


Plus…


It’s my BIRTHDAY MONTH!!


So… 


That means I’ll probably have a whole list of things to get done before next year when I turn….30... duhnt duhnt duhntttttttttttt……

September Goals!!

There are lots of changes coming in October.  They are exciting changes, but a little nerve wracking….  In light of said changes, I’ve been looking at our life… It’s structure…  Things that are working… Areas that need improvement…

We’re doing pretty good in a lot of areas… Here are some things that need improvement…

Exercise:
I’m not being consistent like I want to be.  Exercising makes me feel better, helps me achieve a more healthy shape and weight, and reduces my stress.  In my happy world, this is how much I’d be exercising…
Yoga/Pilates Daily in the AM (Just a short amount, enough to kinda stretch and start the day focused in a good way)
Run 3x a week.
Bike 3x a week. (Alternating with running days)
Rest 1x a week.
Strength Train 2x a week.
Walk Theron nightly. (This serves a dual purpose on nights Jon comes with me… gives us a chance to focus on just us and the pup.)

Nutrition/Food:
Practice the art of intuitive eating. (Eating only when hungry, stopping when no longer hungry, etc)
This makes a lot of sense to attempt now since my computer at home is less than functional and I have to use Hubs’ if I want the Internet to count calories.

Focus on moving towards whole/real foods.
We already do this for the most part. I make more exceptions (allowing for junkfoods) than I would like.  I’m also trying to eat reduced fat cheese/yogurt, and more real stuff.  I find the real deal a lot more satisfying, and then eat less.  We aren’t big meat eaters, so my saturated fat intake only comes from the coconut milk in my coffee for the most part.  So I’m not too worried about the sat. fat in the real cheese/yogurt.  I’m also trying to limit the sugar… I think I’ve got a hypoglycemia thing, but my body definitely doesn’t like when I sugar load it.

Household:
Focus on the budget.
We have a really good handle on where money goes and we pay all our bills very timely.  We make sure to have ample money going into our savings.  The problem is we are not very good shoppers.  (Other than Hubs with the grocer shopping.)  This weekend we actually estimated the cost of things on our list, and set ourselves up with a budget for the shopping trips we took to Home Depot and AC Moore… and stuck to it.  I want to see more of this it works and then I don’t have to pull unexpectedly from money set aside for car repairs, etc.  We’re also focusing on wants vs. needs… We both have enough t-shirts to clothe an army… Shopping for T-shirts is just asinine at this point… it’s all want based, not need based.

Chores.
Both Hubs’ and I tend to push off our chores.  Sadly, he’s probably better about his chores than I am…  I have gotten really bad in the past few months when I’ve been so depleted by my job that I literally shut down and am useless by the time I get home.  Until chores feel like a habit again, I need to adopt the Nike mantra… “Just do it”.  Yes, I might be tired, or not “feel” like doing my chores… but they aren’t going to do themselves, and seeing all those to-do’s aren’t exactly helping my stress levels.

Sleep
8 hours a night, every night.
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, sleep is so important for me.  I’m a better person when I have enough sleep.  This one is probably the easiest to push aside, but leads to the rest working much better.  My health starts here.

Work:
Stress/Anxiety Levels related to Job.
My job is what it is.  It’s not going to change.  And since it is my job, I can’t just let it destroy my motivation and drive in life.  I shouldn’t be uncomfortable about taking lunch away from my desk, or leaving on time.  I want to develop the ability to leave work at the door when I leave for the day.  I don’t want to think about any part of my job when I leave for the day.  If there were changes made at work with the nature of the working environment/culture I could be happier… But when it all boils down to it… I’m the one responsible for letting it get to me.  I want to enjoy each day I’m given as much as possible… I don’t want to waste it letting my job take that day from me.

I’m planning on working on these areas this month.  I really really feel like I will see some improvement if I stay focused.

There are 4 weeks left in this month.  I’m going to take 2 week chunks of time to focus on a few areas to really whip them into shape.
Weeks 1&2 (9/6-9/16) will be:  Sleep/Exercise/Nutrition
Weeks 3&4 (9/17-9/30) will be: Household/Work + Continue the good habits from Wks 1&2.

I’ll check in on Sunday each week to hold myself accountable.  I’ll share what worked, what didn’t work, etc.

Wish me luck, consistency and stick-to-it-ness!! 🙂