Held Hostage by My Septic Tank

Since I am still waiting for the septic men to show up, I’m basically held hostage in our house.

When do you know that it’s time to get your septic pumped?

Since we moved in here in March of 2007 and had them pump it before we moved in, we should have had 3-5 years.  Therefore, this past March was at the long end of that time-frame.  Which means for me, it was time to pump it LAST fall.  You know… BEFORE we had a sewage swamp for the dog to frolic in.  (Note: This has not yet occurred, but Theron is very suspicious of why he can’t play in his beloved backyard.)

For Hubs, it would seem it was when I kept smelling sewage and seeing liquid come out of the top of the septic.  

Then don’t you know, he’s more than happy to pick up his phone and make some calls, get some quotes and schedule someone.


So now… Until we’re actually pumped, we have to follow the rule:  If it be yellow let it mellow, if it be brown flush it down.  Please note, if  anyone pulls the “pop over visit” and I don’t have time to do a last-minute flush…. I am totally planning to sell it as us being wicked  green and saving water and all that jazz.

We also get to play this game where we strategically schedule our dishes, laundry and showers…  And by strategically schedule I mean use paper plates as much as possible, don’t do any laundry and take quick showers (Read: My legs are not getting shaved.).  

Which also  means we’re close to being out of underthings… And to teach Hubs a lesson or something I might just refold his unlaundered boxers and see if he notices that they don’t smell all laundry fresh before he wears them.  You know… Like I said…To teach him a lesson… Not to be vindictive or anything…

I’ve also thought about putting mud on Theron’s paws and saying he sneaked out while I was bringing out the compost and then make Hubs clean the paws…. Because I know he’ll think it’s sewage paws….

And today, I thought there was a light at the end of the tunnel…  The Pump Guys were supposed to be here late morning… but Hubs’ phone isn’t ringing and when he calls them, it’s going right to voicemail…   I think the Pump Guys ditched us.

This is actually a great lesson on why you totally wait until there is an actual problem to call help in, and why you don’t call before there is a big problem… you know… that way you can get the adrenaline kick of not knowing if the problem will be solved before it creates a lasting problem.  Right?!?


2 thoughts on “Held Hostage by My Septic Tank

    • Just one of the many ummm… blessings… of having an older home. But I keep telling myself it’s better than paying thousands to dig a hole in the yard and have to pay to hook into the city sewer.

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