Breaking Up Is Hard To Do…

Dear Dairy,
We’ve been around and around again.
We’re so on again and off again, it’s quite surprising we haven’t hit the tabloids yet.
For so long I blamed my stomach issues on beans, or a million other things… but not you, not my creamy beloved.
But I stayed strong for a week or so now… I stayed away.  But I still partook in your frenemy, Legumes.  And surprise of surprises, I didn’t have stomach issues, or pain, or bloating…
But last night, you called me when you knew I was weak…  A dollop of sour cream surely couldn’t hurt, and oh my did it make my baked potato yummerific…  And while I was at it, what would the harm be in eating just one of those innocent looking puddings my mother left in the fridge…

This time the betrayal might be too much.  Within hours, I could feel bloating, gas, IBS cramping…. I could feel my energy sapped… This morning I still felt pukey.

If you want me back, why make me suffer so???

I think it’s time I realize that I need to forget your email address, delete your phone number…
You might hear of me hanging out with your less lactose-y friends cheddar and butter…. No fear, I still won’t be looking you up!

Don’t call, don’t write and don’t keep in touch!


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