Last week I addressed the negative external voices… This week, I’m tackling the inner voices…
Part Two: The negative self talk/comparisons we make internally
My mind is my own.
No one else can control what happens in my head.
No one else is responsible for the awful things I say to and about myself inside my head.
No one is forcing me to compare myself to others. No one is telling me I always come up lacking in those comparisions.
No one is telling me that I don’t deserve my husband, or the opportunities that come my way.
No one but me.
So then why do I shoot myself down? Why do I tell myself “You can’t do that”? Why do I let rules/guidelines set by parents, family, friends, or society as a whole govern my percieved successes and percieved failures?
Shouldn’t I be my own barometer?
I think it’s important to be aware of oneself. But awareness does not have to come with a judgement. I could simply state the facts… I am this or I am that…. Without there having to be a negative judement with it. I could just acknoledge these traits. Instead, I always judge these items as “flaws” or “faults”. For me, this is a difficult prediciment… it’s a double edged sword.
If I don’t compare myself to others I won’t be as motivated to improve myself.
If I do judge/compare myself, then I am judging myself and then am providing reinforcement to my insecurities.
It seems that the ideal situation would be to admire others, acknoledge my traits and attempt to cultivate the qualities I so admire in myself and others. To see those things as attributes to attain, rather than things to judge my failings by.
I think the negative self talk is more destructive than the external negativity… but I think they breed off of each other.
Which do you think is more destructive? Do you think they are interrelated?