Where I’ve Been… And Where We are Going!!!

With my grandmother’s illness, and then passing away, I didn’t want to write or share anything that might feel too personal to the other people (my family) involved.  I didn’t want to add to their pain or their grief.  I also wanted time to work through my pain and my grief without feeling that I needed to explain the why’s and how’s, or to gloss it over like it was “no big deal”.  I just wanted to curl up inside myself and block out the rest of the world to deal with my sadness.  My grandmother was one of the very most important people in my life.  I still have several times a day that I feel that prick of pain deep in my chest and my eyes sting with tears. 
That’s where I’ve been.  Shuffling through the grief, and trying to keep myself from succumbing to sadness so thick that I couldn’t cut through it.  And I honestly admit, I’ve managed to stay out of the thick of it better than I would have expected.  My heart is still open, and my mind is finally clearing out the clutter.  I’m starting to think I can count on myself again.  That I can be dependable to myself and others again.   
Tonight Hubs and I are embarking on a whirlwind VT adventure.  Fly out of Roanoke at 8:00 pm, hit BTV around midnight.  Hubs’ parents are picking us up and driving us down to Barre.  We’ll attend a wedding of Hubs’ cousin on Sunday afternoon in Groton, waterside…  We are so looking forward to this!  Present already purchased and is being shipped directly to the lucky couple.  Then Monday evening we’ll fly back to reality. 
For those who are curious… this marks trip #4 (or #5 if you include the time to VT before and after Italy as two separate events) to Vermont for me in the past 4 months.  🙂 

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